Depressed – Write About It!

Back in 2006, I faced the gravest challenge I’d ever had in my life. A time when massive debt, losing my businesses and homes, was my reality. This time affected and impacted on me in a way I could never have imagined. Physically, mentally, emotionally and importantly spiritually, I was dying since all those areas were in the doldrums and being perpetually ‘broken’ was the manifestation of my life inexperience, lack of knowledge, selecting the wrong investments and friends and mindset. Bye and large, I was chasing a mirage. Trying to find the things that gave false fulfilment and trinkets outside of myself; with the what could be rather than the why I am here, who was I and what that meant in service to myself and therefore to others.

Suffice to say with my mind the way it was and the negative manifestations because of it, I went into a depression, and it’s not as if it had suddenly slapped me, it actually crept like a boa constrictor moving silently towards some jungle rodent.

The funny thing was I had no idea I was even depressed since I was looking through my own eyes at the ‘stuff’ around me and not at ‘me’ in and reacting to the stuff. In fact it was my cousin who pointed out that my behaviour was abnormal since I was in so deep I didn’t realise I was waking up and going to sleep in total darkness, curtains drawn even when a new day beckoned; moping around and feeling sorry for myself, wearing the same clothes or just being unhygienic. Not to mention, a lack of nourishment by not eating right and if I ate, consuming only junk. I even tried finding salvation in places that essentially did not touch the essence of who I was, in the hope I would be saved from myself. Suffice to say that never worked either.

Nothing had until my cousin said enough was enough. And literally, by taking me by the scruff of my neck and challenging my psyche with a few simple questions about who I was prior to being in that dreadful place, she didn’t hold back!

By the time she dragged me from the abyss, I was seeing the truth in what she saw in me and it was with her help I was able to take the steps to move away from the dark chasm that wished to engulf me. In that movement, I so happened to have discovered a bookstore; its name more than downright convenient and synonymous too with my new found inspiration. So I reverted to what was my passion, what I truly loved doing and what really made me whole. That was storytelling.

The bookstore became my new home away from home and it was here I enhanced my writing, using and sharing my journey and with this focus, the more enthused and excited I became about storytelling; especially when I saw how others were empowered by my word. Since then I’ve taken my gloomiest time by using it to translate my and other people’s experiences in a way that’s comprehensive and palatable, aspirational and inspirational.

Today, when looking back, I can say I’m more than just a scribe and for sure, it ‘s said that in the beginning was the word, well the word was in my beginning.

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